In her groundbreaking work, Brene Brown famously defines shame as "the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging." This sentiment encapsulates the deep-seated impact shame can have on our sense of self and our relationships. But how does shame develop, and what toll does it take on our physical and emotional well-being?

Meet The Shame

Shame often takes root in our formative years, when we are most vulnerable. It arises from experiences where we are met with harsh criticism, abuse, or neglect from caregivers or authority figures. These encounters leave lasting impressions on our psyche, leading to the internalization of feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and of course…shame.

Children who endure repeated instances of neglect or abandonment from their caregivers internalize these experiences, believing themselves to be unlovable and inherently flawed. This internalization activates protective mechanisms within us, as we strive to cope with the pain and uncertainty of our circumstances.

The Emergence Of Protective Parts

These protective mechanisms, or "parts," assume various roles in our body. Some parts may manifest as an inner critic, echoing the critical voices of our caregivers. Others may resort to maladaptive behaviors, such as substance use or perfectionism, in an attempt to soothe their pain or win approval from others. Still, other parts may dissociate from the painful emotions altogether, seeking refuge from feelings of powerlessness and despair. They hold onto the belief that they’ve never been loved and never will be.

Shame: The Physiological Impact

The physiological effects of shame are profound, often manifesting as dysregulation in our nervous system and physical health issues, particularly in the gut.

As we cannot fight or flight our parental figures, the only solution for our nervous system is to freeze. The freeze response is the silent cry of a helpless child who feels powerless.⠀⠀⠀⠀

The freeze response triggers cortisol - the stress hormone to be released and its excess leads to inflammation. The inflammation is a result of our boundaries being crossed and our inability to express anger. This anger that has not been released turns against us wreaking havoc on our digestive system.

It’s All In The Gut

Everything we ingest – food or emotional experiences like humiliation or neglect– leaves an imprint on our being. Some of it is absorbed, some eliminated, but all of it shapes our identity.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Consider the small intestine, a vital player in the digestion process. Its role in nutrient absorption mirrors the assimilation of insights into our self-esteem. As we navigate life’s experiences, the small intestine symbolizes the phase of integration, where we mold our self-perception based on what we’ve learned. When we experience feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness, we might not feel safe being ourselves and our small intestines may mirror these emotions through symptoms like bloating, fermentation, or spasms (IBS).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Then there’s the large intestine, responsible for consolidating waste and readying it for elimination. In a fascinating parallel, this physiological function mirrors the psychological process of discerning what no longer serves us and embracing the act of letting go. Here, we confront outdated beliefs and emotions, recognizing their burden on our psychological well-being.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Conlusion

To address the burden of shame we carry, it is essential to create a compassionate and non-judgmental space for healing. By acknowledging and exploring the wounded parts of ourselves, we can begin to release the grip of shame and reclaim our sense of self-worth and belonging.

Moreover, viewing our gut through the lens of psychological assimilation and release offers a transformative perspective on the digestive process. It invites us to recognize digestion not only as a physical function but as a metaphor for the integration and release of emotional experiences.

If you find yourself struggling with low self-worth, anxiety, fear of rejection, or difficulty letting go, you may be experiencing the effects of shame on your physical and emotional well-being. But know that healing is possible, and by embracing vulnerability and seeking support, you can begin to untangle the complex web of shame and reclaim your inherent worth and dignity.

About the author: Hanna Hanula is a recognized holistic wellness expert, holding several certifications mainly in Nutrition, Somatic Trauma Therapy, Somatic Alignment, NLP and Hypnosis, who is passionate about Gut and Mental Health. She is the creator of Awaken Your Wellness program and Happybiome- 4-week nutritional program to ease anxiety and depression symptoms.